On Indulgence
et al.
While self-critical, I typically don’t allow myself to indulge in speculative self-loathing, like wondering what I am doing or what I will do next.
Typically.
That said, there is nothing like a birthday—mine, today—to really push one into such a mood. So, I was already there, and then I read this:
It made me wonder a bit. Why am I doing what I am doing? Do I indulge myself enough in doing things that I love? Do I love my work/field?
Then I remembered that I don’t really need to know why: I only really care about the process most of the time. At least on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. On Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, I tend to be more of a pragmatist. Today is Friday.
Do I indulge myself? I suppose this would depend upon your viewpoint. Some might say that I do not. Others might argue otherwise. I would place it like this:
Indulged========[ME]==========================Not Indulged
I tend to indulge my curiosities whenever they arise. I tend not to indulge whims, however. I feel that this is a reasonable indulgence model. I know more than enough people who indulge whims and then refuse to indulge curiosity because they believe their curiosity to be a manifestation of whim. This is wrong. Curiosity is the stuff of life, as far as I am concerned, and the deadening of curiosity in children by overindulgence in whim that goes on these days will be the downfall of human society eventually.
In other words. Turn off the TV. Get off your widening ass. Put down your processed-cheese-processed-burger. Eat a tomato that you grew in your backyard while you take apart your favorite toys with a screwdriver.
As an aside, I just took apart and reassembled my mobile phone because I noticed that I had the right screwdriver and realized that I could. That is the kind of indulgence I am talking about, I suppose.
Do I love what I do? I think so. Sometimes I wonder if I have just trained myself to love it. Though, what I suspect is that I only love it because I am able to indulge my curiosity in a number of ways via this route.
Think about it:
Because I indulged my curiosity, I did a degree in Latin rather than in music. That led me to accidentally studying Arabic because I indulged my curiosity about it one semester. That led me to traveling to Egypt, which led me to become interested in Islam, which let me into an MA in religious studies. Subsequently, I indulged my curiosity further by deepening my study, which eventually led me to come here for a long-term stay. That led me to apply for an MA program outside of the United States, which led me to come and live in North Africa, where I can so fully indulge my curiosity on a continuous, real-time, full-immersion basis.
The short answer: obviously.
I realize that this was primarily written to myself, but isn’t that what a blog is sometimes? I like it when it can be a sounding-board for my own personal, interior thoughts. Also, in this case, it might help me in explaining an answer to the question: “Well, what are you going to do with that?”
I’m going to go see if there are any other things lying around that I can take apart with my new screwdriver.
1
happy birthday John.
I’m with you on this indulgence. I have a similar way of following my different passions, one at a time. at certain points, few of them meet at the same time in the same situation. that’s when I feel excited! happy and so blessed.
I also believe that one way or another, all my dreams will come true, eventually.
Randah
2
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday, dear Johhhhhhnnnnn!
Happy Birthday to youuuuuu!!!!
I love your article. I love you. Hope you’re having a great day!
Mom
3
John,
Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!
I don’t even know what time it is there so I hope you have a great day or already did have one. What the heck – I’ll be indulgent – I hope you have a great week!
love, Cindy
4
Place your comment here.
5
Good Cartoon and happy birthday.
I like your topic today and have, over the years, thought about it a lot.
As you know, I volunteer a lot and most of my friends don’t seem to understand. They always say, How can you afford to do that?
My first response is:
If I have the opportunity to do something for someone, How can I afford not to do it? and it is not about money. Money seems to be the frame of reference for most things.
My second response is very selfish.
I like helping others, I want to help other and I need to be helpful. As long as I am not hurting someone or taking something away from then, then it would be wrong for me not volunteer.
We all tend to be self cantered/indulgent, but most don’t know it. We should know and have some under standing of why we do things. Then follow your heart.
Go out and have a beer on us (so to speak) for your birthday.
Dad
6
Happy Birthday again!
I’ve lived a life of indulgance as you have defined it and thus have acquired things I could have never hoped for, paid for, or, frankly, imagined had it not been for the indulgance in the first place. So cheers!
7
Okay, I turned off the TV and got off my widening ass, but being bitterly religious, wilI cling to my processed-cheese hamburger with cold greasy fingers like an undead Charlton Heston with an AK47.
8
Really, is there any other kind of Charlton Heston?
9
Happy Birthday…
Anyway, I think that questions like this are more-or-less universal for those of us who have had the opportunity to choose our own path. Call it the curse of too many opportunities. Your particular path sounds adventurous to me, and you’ve been writing about it for so long that it has to hold your interest in some legitimate. I also find that any field of study is going to have a level of ritual or routine; genuine interest is what is sustained after the novelty wears off. So what you’ve written here makes sense to me.